Crumpling sounds of unnecessary thoughts are disturbing my senses just before four days of my end-term exams. Just before exams, slight nervous energy persuaded me to take enormous tension in my ever-surging mindset. Although somehow, I started reading and after reading some significant portion, I became desperate to take small breaks. These unneeded interruption consistently recurred as many times as possible due to my high spirited impulsiveness in such tricky situations. Many scandalizing thoughts creeped in my mind with its varying scurrilous effect. All prodigal feelings felt at a same time in order to devastate my concentration, as a result, I was so lonely and helpless. At such struggling time, enthusiasm demised, tension possessed and enjoyed its part, no one was there to support me but in this particular testing situation, destiny desired to evaluate my mental composure and strength. Definitely, this was not an effective time to bear such an outburst of gigantic nervous pressure. Therefore, I made various attempt in order to deviate my mind from these evil thoughts. Moreover, in these type of insipid moments, I start making honest promise with myself to do better next time. Although, a decade has been passed but that particular next time has never came. Hoping for the best, I always shifted my burden on future moments and enjoyed repercussions of persisting circumstances. As I believe in Kal Ho Na Ho but today any of my justifications to maintain my mental sensibility were stifling to foster my spirits. Hence, felt subservient under the pressure of such an adverse situation against me. What to do now in order to reach an appropriate resolution? Totally confused and became more timid by watching a huge syllabus in front of me. I made another attempt to convince my heart by reciprocating to myself about vivacity of my experience, as now, I feel myself as an experience guy who evades such predicaments in quite an organised manner. I mean to say that I became an experienced campaigner to handle such twitchy examination pressure. Erstwhile, my body shivered in such situations; and thereafter, shriveled due to exaggerated tension of examination fever in mind which consequentially deteriorated my physical condition also. Altogether, my honest efforts at such crucial moments seek for best possible available alternative to emanate a satisfactory output. But, intoto, a reality is that I cheat my capabilities and skills by eliciting various sterile justifications and futile reasons. Ha Ha Ha….so boring enumerations but I do believe in my inherent capabilities.
Having observed so, I took another break and went out of my kitchen bedroom. I was very tensed but the world around me was pretty same. As Kundan and Tyagi were hanging around in hostel premises, some hostel mates were busy in their mobile phones, many others were trying to sleep inside their mosquito net at common veranda. Where all were busy with their unorganized hostel events, I flawlessly glared towards highway and tried to evaluate my compatibility by giving honest answer to myself. After sometime, I found my answer in a painful form, such as, my expectations were very high but results were unsatisfactory. I knew that an aspiration without systematic hard work is merely a bewildering web. So, I became very sad after having meeting with a truthful harsh reality. It was more painful because such emotional feelings can never find a shoulder to share such precious observations and thereafter rely on…that too…in an examination time. I continued digging the lore and mystery of my ill-wills…that too…first time after my school life. After crossing various hurdles through my thinking bike, I unintentionally heard untidy sounds of passing trucks and suddenly locked my room and cursed myself for not utilizing proper opportunity at appropriate time. In my past cricket life, I heard that timing and placement are so important to score more and more runs, same principle applies in real life also, timing to grab an opportunity plays a vital role in building some hopeful future moments. In my language…it is Chance Pe Dance. Subsequently, expectations of my parents became apparent to my sober mind which ruined my confidence and made me cowardice to accept that my laziness had always derogated me from my own grant. I hereby acknowledge my very weak will power which persevered for a long time to confirm my unknown losses. These exacerbating reasons made me think that I am cheating with myself and wasting my parent’s money. At a particular instance, I felt very humiliating about the future results of my academic tasks. As a result, I sincerely apologized for all the mistakes committed by me from Hanumanji, thereafter; his omnipotent blessings recuperated my devastating mindset. At last; some worthy thoughts made me belief that “I received nothing I wanted… but I received everything I needed.”
Having observed so, I took another break and went out of my kitchen bedroom. I was very tensed but the world around me was pretty same. As Kundan and Tyagi were hanging around in hostel premises, some hostel mates were busy in their mobile phones, many others were trying to sleep inside their mosquito net at common veranda. Where all were busy with their unorganized hostel events, I flawlessly glared towards highway and tried to evaluate my compatibility by giving honest answer to myself. After sometime, I found my answer in a painful form, such as, my expectations were very high but results were unsatisfactory. I knew that an aspiration without systematic hard work is merely a bewildering web. So, I became very sad after having meeting with a truthful harsh reality. It was more painful because such emotional feelings can never find a shoulder to share such precious observations and thereafter rely on…that too…in an examination time. I continued digging the lore and mystery of my ill-wills…that too…first time after my school life. After crossing various hurdles through my thinking bike, I unintentionally heard untidy sounds of passing trucks and suddenly locked my room and cursed myself for not utilizing proper opportunity at appropriate time. In my past cricket life, I heard that timing and placement are so important to score more and more runs, same principle applies in real life also, timing to grab an opportunity plays a vital role in building some hopeful future moments. In my language…it is Chance Pe Dance. Subsequently, expectations of my parents became apparent to my sober mind which ruined my confidence and made me cowardice to accept that my laziness had always derogated me from my own grant. I hereby acknowledge my very weak will power which persevered for a long time to confirm my unknown losses. These exacerbating reasons made me think that I am cheating with myself and wasting my parent’s money. At a particular instance, I felt very humiliating about the future results of my academic tasks. As a result, I sincerely apologized for all the mistakes committed by me from Hanumanji, thereafter; his omnipotent blessings recuperated my devastating mindset. At last; some worthy thoughts made me belief that “I received nothing I wanted… but I received everything I needed.”
2 comments:
Sandeep,
how you doing? Me I'm in Ahmedabad. I started on a very bad note with loose motion and fever as soon as I got here. Then I was feeling lazy to go to the office and didn't go for a few days. But now I'm ok. Going to office everyday and also workign from 10 to 10. That's phenomenal for me. I'm staying with Ashis Bhaiyya. He works in a big comapany here. Torrent Pharmaceuticals. Very sexy office. Like foreign offices.
Tell me about your work? And how you're liking mumbai and the stay away from home?
Have you taken the right vitamin lately? Is your body answering that question right now? Shocking truth about why this whole food vitamin has set a new standard! This can improve your quality of life.
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