A decade back, I started my career as a practicing Advocate.
The feeling was good but in true sense, I never knew from
where to and how to start the work.
I was ambitious since I ever remember myself and hence, had
high hope from myself. I had a belief in my heart that I am special, and I will
conquer the world by making very good name in the Profession very quickly. I used to think, like in college, people generally will be good and help me to absorb in
the profession smoothly so that I can grow rapidly and earn a lot.
With enormous hope and hiding some pain inside me, I was
ready for the adventure. I joined a very good lawyer’s office and kept on
reading routine files but never knew what I must do next. When I can appear in
the court or what am I expected to do in Advocate’s office. I asked the Senior humbly
and other colleagues as well to which they responded courteously and rightly, but
somewhere something was tingling me. Whether I am doing the task rightly or not?
What’s the expectation from me?
In erstwhile life, I was judged through the marks obtained
in examination which had clear guidelines on how to answer the questions. Many
a times, when I was not knowing the correct answer, I wrote whatever I felt
like with a hope that the examiner may find something worthy and render mercy. Such
attempts worked at times.
However, in real life, without clear guidelines, answering
the questions posed by life became difficult. My parents spent so much in my
education and they were hopeful for returns as well. All kind of issues
designed by my mind, created more pressure for me, as I stood somewhere in a
bridge between theoretical and practical world.
Life without being judged through marks looked different to
me.
Everyone out there in the legal industry where I worked had
their own battles and they were busy in that and I thought once that no one bothered
about me that I joined this profession to learn and grow quickly. Also had hidden
desire to earn a lot and one day fulfill all the secret desires which were hidden
in my heart. After all, I believed that I am special.
There were lot of thoughts and emotions which persuaded me
to push harder with more sincerity to make something extra ordinary to happen in
life quickly but everything around was moving at its own pace. No one taught me
things with individualistic focus.
I never knew when money for survival will start flowing my
way. I was not hundred percent sure about doing things in a right way. I kept
on observing things surrounding me and somehow learnt to complete the task
without error. Somewhere around that time, I made a resolution to myself that “I
will follow my instincts” and keep on trying without thinking much of results.
With that resolution, I’ve commenced with the biggest learning
of my life i.e. self - learning i.e. taking decision for myself based on
problems accessed by me.
I learnt that when there is no one around to take decision
for you and you are burnt enough so that you keep all the lame excuses away and
further decide that this is the time where you have to take responsibility to do good to yourself. My conscience said to me that I will follow my instincts,
knowledge or whatever it takes to decide my future actions for my betterment.
This small stride towards something better is gaining
experience and progress. That quality of taking decision for my good is
EMPOWERMENT.
Since that day, some light pushes me to take decisions in
life, when it is required.
