4.03.2006

Epitome of Humility...


Crumpling sounds of unnecessary thoughts are disturbing my senses just before four days of my end-term exams. Just before exams, slight nervous energy persuaded me to take enormous tension in my ever-surging mindset. Although somehow, I started reading and after reading some significant portion, I became desperate to take small breaks. These unneeded interruption consistently recurred as many times as possible due to my high spirited impulsiveness in such tricky situations. Many scandalizing thoughts creeped in my mind with its varying scurrilous effect. All prodigal feelings felt at a same time in order to devastate my concentration, as a result, I was so lonely and helpless. At such struggling time, enthusiasm demised, tension possessed and enjoyed its part, no one was there to support me but in this particular testing situation, destiny desired to evaluate my mental composure and strength. Definitely, this was not an effective time to bear such an outburst of gigantic nervous pressure. Therefore, I made various attempt in order to deviate my mind from these evil thoughts. Moreover, in these type of insipid moments, I start making honest promise with myself to do better next time. Although, a decade has been passed but that particular next time has never came. Hoping for the best, I always shifted my burden on future moments and enjoyed repercussions of persisting circumstances. As I believe in Kal Ho Na Ho but today any of my justifications to maintain my mental sensibility were stifling to foster my spirits. Hence, felt subservient under the pressure of such an adverse situation against me. What to do now in order to reach an appropriate resolution? Totally confused and became more timid by watching a huge syllabus in front of me. I made another attempt to convince my heart by reciprocating to myself about vivacity of my experience, as now, I feel myself as an experience guy who evades such predicaments in quite an organised manner. I mean to say that I became an experienced campaigner to handle such twitchy examination pressure. Erstwhile, my body shivered in such situations; and thereafter, shriveled due to exaggerated tension of examination fever in mind which consequentially deteriorated my physical condition also. Altogether, my honest efforts at such crucial moments seek for best possible available alternative to emanate a satisfactory output. But, intoto, a reality is that I cheat my capabilities and skills by eliciting various sterile justifications and futile reasons. Ha Ha Ha….so boring enumerations but I do believe in my inherent capabilities.

Having observed so, I took another break and went out of my kitchen bedroom. I was very tensed but the world around me was pretty same. As Kundan and Tyagi were hanging around in hostel premises, some hostel mates were busy in their mobile phones, many others were trying to sleep inside their mosquito net at common veranda. Where all were busy with their unorganized hostel events, I flawlessly glared towards highway and tried to evaluate my compatibility by giving honest answer to myself. After sometime, I found my answer in a painful form, such as, my expectations were very high but results were unsatisfactory. I knew that an aspiration without systematic hard work is merely a bewildering web. So, I became very sad after having meeting with a truthful harsh reality. It was more painful because such emotional feelings can never find a shoulder to share such precious observations and thereafter rely on…that too…in an examination time. I continued digging the lore and mystery of my ill-wills…that too…first time after my school life. After crossing various hurdles through my thinking bike, I unintentionally heard untidy sounds of passing trucks and suddenly locked my room and cursed myself for not utilizing proper opportunity at appropriate time. In my past cricket life, I heard that timing and placement are so important to score more and more runs, same principle applies in real life also, timing to grab an opportunity plays a vital role in building some hopeful future moments. In my language…it is Chance Pe Dance. Subsequently, expectations of my parents became apparent to my sober mind which ruined my confidence and made me cowardice to accept that my laziness had always derogated me from my own grant. I hereby acknowledge my very weak will power which persevered for a long time to confirm my unknown losses. These exacerbating reasons made me think that I am cheating with myself and wasting my parent’s money. At a particular instance, I felt very humiliating about the future results of my academic tasks. As a result, I sincerely apologized for all the mistakes committed by me from Hanumanji, thereafter; his omnipotent blessings recuperated my devastating mindset. At last; some worthy thoughts made me belief that “I received nothing I wanted… but I received everything I needed.”

3.20.2006

Lascivious Lawyer...

Sandy determined to become a lawyer
Believe me; "The best way to predict the future is to create it." So, I keep on creating a proper opportunity to emblazon my future moments...that too...through my consistent honest attempts to do something innovative and creative. As a result, law seems to become a perfect vocation for myself. Therefore, desire to become a good lawyer is always complimented by unstoppable virtues like dedication, determination and incredible passion. Meanwhile, I do waste some precious time for various unnecesary and unwarranted works, in simple sense, at such time laziness support me to ignore some constructive and urgent tasks. Moreover, this twitchy inevitable stupidity derogate me from my own grant where I have to opt for other available alternatives. In such moments, whatever may be the circumstance, I never stop trying, I always try to rectify persisting predicaments and at the same time do some unplanned and inadvertent mistakes. I keep on trying to do new things instead of various failures because I believe that anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. Till now, a satisfactory journey as a law student because study in this particular stream renders a coherent platform to present and develop once skills, physically as well as mentally.
"Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings." Presently, this quote is an appropriate verbatim to reveal my persisting situation. Moreover, another imperative idea follows as that there should be a proper vision to achieve success in one's life; said by Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam(President of India). No vision, no crucial ambition for me at present time...life became insipid in this institution. Oops...tragedy happened...Sorry, I lost a significant content of a particular post where I have enumerated a detailed exposition about my college life. It is so painful when something decieve you when you have worked very hard on it. Same thing happened with me this time. I enumerated a detailed observations of my acdemic life in this particular paragraph but it got disappeared from my eye sight due to some technical error. By the way, it was quite a fascinating couple of years for me because I faced strangest of situations after joining a particular National Law University.
Now, I am quite desperate to complete my LLB and want to enjoy my life as a lascivious lawyer. I used a particular term because lust to enjoy tricky and unpredictable situations is something very amazing and fascinating. Therefore, a particular vocation is a right choice for me, where future events are totally unpredicatble, where one can do a cheapest of thing or can persevere to do many noble tasks. So, in this profession, its very difficult to believe on any indigenous because suspicion becomes invividly an inherent habit of a person. Although, I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. Furthermore, I want to prosper in my life with flying colours, as I believe in another belief emanated its substantial content from Indian mythology. It follows as
"When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice."

3.17.2006

Holi Hai...

Sudeep and Sandeep at Holi

No Doubt...Holi with college friends that too with Tyagi, Kundan, Anumeh, Big B etc...just too good. After two years I played Holi in my native town. We played Holi before Holi but at Holi no Holi for us. Ha Ha Ha...confuzion...I mean to say that a day before Holi we painted some unknown designs in eachother's body parts with lots of varying colourful shades but at a day which was reserved for a particular festival; we found ourselves changing position in our sleeping bed. It was so comedy because a day before Holi we all friends compelled other hostel mates to play a delightful game and at a crucial time...we did Gaddari(decieved their faith). Although, it lead to a small tiffs between some of us but at the end, all were enjoying this fascinating display of rubbing rang at each others face. Thereafter, we became busy in onerous Holi bath. Playing Holi is so good but subsequent bath to eradicate those harmful colour is that much insipid. I enjoyed a particular change but at the same time 'I missed someone'. This time it was my Bunty Bhaiya. I miss you so much Bhaiya and what about your promise? He promised me that he'll drop a big box of chudi rang(dark colour) in my long hairs. Bhaiya 'I didn't allowed anyone to put any amount of colour in my hair, my hair is waiting for your big box'. Ha Ha Ha...really comedy naa...Hope we'll get another opportunity soon where we can celebrate this festival with varying colours of our precious emotions.

2.14.2006

Happy Valentine's Day...


For someone unknown or may be known but only to me, me and me. My Valentine Day with myself follows as -

Chaah thi in aasuon ki aankhon se chalak jaaye,
Par aisi thi haalat chah kar bhi naa koi inhe gira paaye,
Gam ne kiya tha yun hataash,
Asamanjhas mein they ki kaise jindagi ko jiya jaaye,
Bus this unki yaadein...jo haseen sapne dikhaye,
Woh bitey pal apni khusbu failaye,
Koi to is deewane ki uljhan suljhaye,
Isey dekhkar asahay,
Naa jaane Rab bhi kyun muskuraye...

Happy Valentine's Day
to all of you. I wrote it at my school days; one can say it as a sudden paroxysm of worthy emotions. I don't know 'How I did it?' but definitely I liked it. I must say, some past memories became apparent today. It was the ultimate experience of my life.

1.30.2006

26th January was reserved for Rang De Basanti...


Sandy at Anand Talkies

Aie Saala! My mind is buzzing with a melodious tune of a particular song. Once again…Aie Saala…plz plz plz…ek baar aur…thoda jor se…Aie Saala…Oh my God, just experienced a rhythmic visual treasure. First time in my life, this recognized patriotic day which is divulged as a Republic day of India was of some importance to me. It was my instant opinion after coming out of a theatre. I watched the two consecutive show of a particular movie. Believe me, it was an insane act but I did it. Reason was so simple; another Aamir Khan movie persuaded me to comply with a first time and a life time experience. His movies are in a habit to attract divergent intellects of differing personalities in an attempt to create a miracle with its ultimate creative scripts. This time it was to awake a youth from their cataleptic sleep in this self-interested world. I firmly believe that it was an honest effort made by some erudite personality to transmogrify the realm of modernity...that too…in a neat and precise manner. In my opinion, the sole aim was to reciprocate the efficacy of changing modern symptoms entrenched in a society with a rare ingredient of some harsh but true realities. A comparative initial effort was enough to impress a limited audience. I also believe that many will not digest this type of curtly innovation. Sorry for them but this movie revived my chore with a heavy load of constructive imperatives imbued in it. All these unwanted fuss may not fruition in a context, although, it can be a good topic for a time pass debate. So, I’ll just ignore it and convey the rarest of the rare experience of my life.
First day first show of any movie is an experience to remember but if it’s a cinema like Rang De Basanti…than…yahooooo…life is so good. What to say about this movie? A must watch movie for every prudent teenagers. My adventure initiated in a bed, I was sleeping in my kitchen bedroom, dreaming about my career considerations, suddenly I found someone knocking a door of my room and screaming...sandeep...sandeep. This time, it was my dear friend Neil. I had to drop them to Anand talkies due to unavailability of any means of conveyance at an early morning. They booked their tickets for a particular show. It was about 5:00 AM, myself with Neil and Sherin scudded to a theatre. I already booked my tickets for a first day second show; my sole object was to drop them to theatre and return back to hostel for fulfilling an another installment of a healthy sleep. We reached theatre at quarter past 5 and as usual my psycho mind took control of my senses. Therefore, I instantly decided to watch a morning show, as a result, borrowed some money at an early morning from Neil and buyed a ticket for that show. It was a very cool morning, I had my Shaul on; which gave me a Thakur look of sholay. Another bewildering scene,very less crowd that too for the Aamir Khan's movie. My mind was stunned, I started doubting my decision but subsequently got the news that a particular movie had been released in two theatres of Raipur. We equipped ourselves inbetween those comfortable sitting arrangement, limited crowd already denunciated the charm of a movie but I had a gut feeling that movie will surprise everybody. I was damn right...it was so innovative...for me it was a great movie.
Once again, Aamir Khan explored his performance and set another peak to endeavor for his admirers. Ohhh! I am sure that this particular movie shall reinvigorate a patriotic spirit of Indian youths. It was a fascinating experience for me, my psych impressed with a cinematography which compelled me to watch that movie again. So, enthrals reiterated but this time accompanied with some other friends. I enjoyed more in a second show, although, a bit of nostalgia creeped in after an interval of a second show. As a result, Kundan's shoulder(my colleague) became a perfect place for a twenty minutes sleep. Subsequently, had a relentless and flawless sleep in a home complimented with a qualitative home food, thereafter discussed various humorous scene with my brother and friends, sang Aie Saala several times and also ruminated over various inspiring dialogues of Rang De Basanti. I must say that this movie is a must watch movie. I simply loved it...ummm...complete entertainer. For me, movie was imbibed with a divergent rational and humorous dialogues. I remember a dialogue said by a trendy Khan of bollywood was "Jindagi mein do cheezein hoti hai...yaa to jindagi jaise chal rahi hai chalne do...yaa to jimmedaari uthao usey badalne ki".

1.25.2006

Just returned from a marriage function...

Sandy in reception ceremony of a marriage


Recently, I had a fantastic time in Rajnandgaon while enjoying with my relatives in a marriage ceremony of my cousine brother. It was a marvelous family get together after a considerable time. My all brothers, sisters and elders had been assimilated themselves at a particular place and we had an awesome time together. It was a typical Marwari marriage with lot's of traditional functions. In our caste, marital procedures are imbued with lots of comedy ceremonies. Therefore, one can seriously enjoy just by observing those fuzzy processual aspects. Although, my sole aim was to enjoy life in midst of all those relatives. So, must say that our enjoyment was in it's sheer hype with an ever-astonishing effect. Moreover, I danced a lot and ate variety of tempting grilled products. This function revealed some more unknown relations to me. As a result, for me, it was a happening moment of my life. If anyone care to probe some snaps of a particular marriage function; I'll take you there... wait for few days.

1.12.2006

A blistering and glorious dawn of my life…




Every morning brings a new dawn and some unknown opportunities. Is it true or not? I don’t know the proximity of truthfulness in above idea but I do believe in it. Can anyone believe that someone waited whole night in order to view a glittering sight of a morning dawn? We did it…it was a marvellous experience with an unbelievable view; a view which pacify your soul and instantly render an unexpected salvation of mind. What more one can ask for…if a particular sizzling effect entrenched in a first day of a year? Undoubtfully, a morning dawn of 1st January 2006 was an impressive and unforgettable view for Sandeep Agrawal, I saw the natural beauty in its sheer hype. Previously, those scenes were visualized only in wallpapers and screensavers of our desktops and laptops. I ruminated that God wanted us to show his architect skills; as he was willing to reciprocate something crucial…that too…in an astonishing manner. His object was to convey "Whatever one creates with human mind; however, impressive or innovative it may be, one cannot surpass or even meet with the prerogative of almighty." He is the supreme creator who has a regulatory remote control through which he checks a functioning of the Earth.

The fascinating adventure initiated at 31st evening. We made a coherent plan to celebrate a New Year in quite an innovative way. A plan which was comprised of some systematic organized thoughts…that too…by balancing some inevitable concerns. On 31st December, at night time, we rocked a temporary fabricated floor made for our disco party. Subsequently, when clock scudded over 12:00Am at night, all HNLU’ites became busy in giving warm wishes to their near and dear colleagues and other appropriate personalities. The altruistic hugs were felicitating in a dappering manner, many people were dancing, some were enjoying as an audience; it was quite a happening scene. An attempt made by every individual to welcome a new year in their own diligent and distinct way; the sole object was to revive their struggling chore by filling some joy and pleasure in it.

Blimey! We also planned to celebrate New Year eve in an adventurous manner. The plan was to isolate our presence in some distinct but interesting places. Our itinerary for a particular evening was preplanned and we achieved our endeavour in a satisfactory manner. Erstwhile, we were in hostel, thereafter had rapture in college…Ohh…still some rapaciousness can be probed in our face which apparently reveals about an unquenchable thirst persisting for little more amusement. Therefore, we began our journey for a rocking place divulged as KODAR DAM. I must say ‘we achieved a lot even though we aspired for little through a felicitous planning’.

We had a comprehensive plan in our mind and the only requirement was to follow it in a systematic way. So, eleven friends in their five bikes loaded their curiosity-oriented gun with a bullet of ever-exploring spirit and initiated their extravagant consistent soaring effort to reach that glorious destination. Our target was 60km away from us and we have to reach their within 2 hours in order to view a magnificent sight. It was a night time; and it looked like that silent roads were waiting for someone to surpass them, trees at each side of roads were hampered by a heavy wind emanating consistent flow of cool breeze, some trucks overloaded with variety of goods endeavouring to achieve their target but we were in our bikes, riding just for fun and with an intention to explore nature. It may look comedy to many persons but it was a paroxysm of pleasure for us. We were singing and sharing our experiences at the same time shivering due to a very low atmospheric temperature. At the end, after taking a break for our high tea at midnight, we reached that particular Dam. I wanna reveal that at this appropriate break ‘First time in my life; I gulped a litre of milk without any hesitation…that too…in a first attempt’. I don’t know the reason for such an unrequited act but it was an experience to remember. Now, we can see ourselves in a particular Dam; an apparent benighted roads with a detouring route but we have surmounted it happily. There was a pin drop silence, dusky darkness, crumpling sounds of crickets and impressive flow of turbulent water in front of us. For me, a lot of expedient fuss was involved in formation of these unforgettable moments.

We were so eager to welcome Sun in our own passionate way. We knew the imperative of its glow and shine; by which it can easily terminate the persisting stygian view. Our patience was intact and we were enjoying in some or the other way. Suddenly, my trendy friend Kr. Kundan Singh Rathore became active with his digi-camera. He was so busy with his power shots to capture those unique sceneries. I must say ‘He was the man in demand at that time’. Anumeh and Bunty Bhaiya also had a camera in their costly mobile phones. I was just watching those friends with such a luxurious instrument in their hand and prayed to God that…plz plz plz…I also wanna similar instrument. Hey, I am not a greedy guy…ok…but those cameras just attracted my attention. I know that God will definitely hear me and I will buy an excellent techno-camera with my own hard-earned money. A swarming amount of trashy thoughts were wriggling and shuffling in my sober mind, at the same time, nature buzzed with a morning light. Ohh…my God…a scene of my life…it looked like those turbulent water must have been kissing multi-layered clouds. It is ineffable to convey those ultimate feelings; a marvellous, magnificent, brilliant, awesome, unbelievable, amazing, fascinating sight was apparent in front of us. My mind was stunned with such a dazzling scene, completely lost in some other dream world, a world away from human self-interest and unwanted greed for material objects. In that world, I entered into a process where virtuous particles of pleasure and happiness were floating in my mind which purified my soul with rare natural insights. I must say that it was the best morning dawn of my life. Believe me, before this dawn, for past week or so, I was very sad, even than I pretended that everything is normal. Something was bothering me a lot, at that time; I preferred to live lonely and was just struggling for survival. A guy who is ever enthusiastic was in depression, world seems like gloomy and dull. Somehow, I reinvigorated those coyest spirits and tried to balance my chore with little bit of internal satisfaction. At such time, if one collapse with surfeit happiness…Believe me…it means a lot.

Furthermore, we went to the other side of a dam, a small island like place. It turned out to be an interesting place for us where we had enjoyed through tracking, swimming and as always…with our creepy comedian acts. Anurag(a rare dancer and friend) was so busy with all types of his characteristic comedy and Tyagi(my close friend) didn’t felt shy to elicit a very harsh comment on his acts. I, Bunty Bhaiya, Saif and my Big B was busy in making various poses in order to capture those moments in a camera. Thereafter we spent some time in some felicitous place; I was busy in scribbling an exhaustive graffiti on sand, some were doing sincere swimming and others had enjoyed by glaring those resplendent sights. Before it could have become tedious for us, we decided to return back with a heavy load of esteemed and astonishing memoirs. The crucial moments of a journey was captured in some worthy cameras and one of the picture of Mr. Anurag was very very very interesting. I’ll give full marks to a photographer; a photo which can create miracle in international photography competitions. If he’ll allow me, I’ll definitely send it to some qualitative competitions. My sixth sense reveals that it may become a central thrust for a dozens of competitions.

It was like an unexpected adventurous journey which emanated a cheerful display of ever-exploring twists. These memories will always emblazon in my mind and I’ll remember it as ‘immortal memories’. I have a small poster outside my kitchen bedroom which conveys that "HAPPY MOMENTS – So let’s hope today, life brings its best moments together, to give you a wonderful day, that’s indeed your best forever."